Little Red Riding Minako
by Kookie-san
Summary: Little Red Riding Minako wants to take some treats to her Grandma, but the Big Bad Duo won't let her...


(( Discalmer: Okay folks these characters are -not- mine nor is the story and if you don't like it then I'll let Heero or Yuki, my llama's eat you o.o; ))  
  
~Little Red Riding Minako~  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: Once upon a time in a far away place, there lived a girl named Minako. Now Minako had a sickly grandma, who often stayed at home when she wasn't out beating small children and animals. Minako liked to visit her grandma when she was at home, and her grandma was indeed stuck inside today. So it occured to our little Minako, than maybe she could pay a visit to her grandmother. Minako decided to take her grandma a basket full of strawberry pocky. And so, our story begins..  
  
Minako: Lalala~! Grandma will be so happy to recieve all these treats! *wide smile* Though maybe I should call beforehand this time, I remember what happened the last time I didn't.. *worried look* :: Flashback of her grandma throwing things at Minako, screaming that she was the gnomes, come to take her shoes again ::  
  
Minako's Mom: Where are you off to hon?  
  
Minako: I'm going to bring Grandma some nice treats!  
  
Minako's Mom: Oh, is that all dear? Okay, but be sure to bring your hood and watch out for that nasty wolf.  
  
Minako: Yes, mom. *smiles and dons her red riding hood, grabbing the basket full of her grandma's goodies, and heading out the door*  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: *hides behind a tree, watching Minako skip along the forest path* Now, as Minako was walking through the forest, one of the most deadly and cunning creatures of the wood heard her. Yes folks, we're talking about the Big. Bad. Duo.  
  
Minako: *skipping and humming* .. *notices our narrator's speaking* Where's that voice coming from??  
  
Big Bad Duo: *hops out from behind a tree* HEY, Minako!  
  
Minako: GAH!! *almost drops her basket* Oh God. Not you again.  
  
Big Bad Duo: Aw.. *speaks in a baby-ish voice* You wewen't looking fo'wawd to seeing me? *mocks pouting*  
  
Minako: ..shut. Up. I don't have time for you today, you pervert. *continues on her way*  
  
Big Bad Duo: Hey! Don't ignore me. *steps into her path*  
  
Minako: I said MOVE! *whacks him with the basket*  
  
Big Bad Duo: *squeals and falls on his face*  
  
Minako: *skips away*  
  
Big Bad Duo: *sits up, rubbing the back of his head* Feh, that stupid blonde..she's not worth my time anyway. *stands up and dusts himself off* I'll just tease her another day...hm? *sniffs the air* Is that.. *sniff, sniff* ...STRAWBERRY POCKY?! *looks around frantically, trying to find out where the wonderful smell is coming from* Wait a minute..is it..? *watches Minako, now much farther in the distance* NANI?! THAT STUPID BLONDE HAS MY POCKY!! *takes a minute to calm down, breathing deeply* Hm. *smooths his black shinigami outfit* I'll just have to TAKE that basket..the pocky will be mine!  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: ... *blinks* Yes. What an interesting wolf he is. Wolf?? Whoops, I meant Duo. Yes. Duo..this is not a cheap rip-off of a classic fairy tale. Nope..it's not. So back to our story, the Big Bad Duo trailed Little Red Riding Minako, already devising a plan to snatch her granny's basket.  
  
Big Bad Duo: .. *pauses* Where's that talking coming from?  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: ..um. Nowhere! Just us trees!  
  
Big Bad Duo: Oh, okay. *continues on his way*  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: *makes a note to talk a little quieter and picks up a few twigs to make her look more like a tree*  
  
Minako: *getting a little tired now* I always forget how long it takes to reach Grandma's house! *sighs and decides to take a rest, sitting down on a nearby rock*  
  
Big Bad Duo: *pops up again* Hiya, Minako! *cheesy grin* Where ya headed with that basket, eh?!  
  
Minako: ...none of your business. Now get away from me, you perv.  
  
Big Bad Duo: Perv, me? *sad look* Why do you always have to call me such names, Minako-kins? I never done wrong to you!  
  
Minako: Never done wrong?! What about that time you stole my bra and hung it on the flag pole?! And the time you PUBLICALLY embarrased me in school, yelling about how we were supposed to go to a PORN shooting later on?!?! AND THEN THERE'S THE TIME YOU STOLE MY CLOTHES WHILE I WAS--  
  
Big Bad Duo: *cuts her off* Now now, Blondie-chan, can't we just let bygones be bygones?? *smiles nervously*  
  
Minako: No, we can't! Now good day, sir! *snatches her basket and heads off toward her grandma's*  
  
Big Bad Duo: Jeeze, what a whack job..but that's okay. I already heard where she was taking that basket..to dear old Gramma Callie's. I'll have to pay her a visit. *smiles evilly and cackles*  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: *speaking rather low now* So! It seems like the Big Bad Duo wishes to cut off Minako and do something to her dear old grandma! What ever shall we do?  
  
Big Bad Duo: *cackles and waltzes into Grandma Callie's house*  
  
Grandma Callie: EH?! WHAT'S THIS?! *screeches* THE GNOMES! GNOMES!! BACK TO DO ME IN LIKE THEY DID BETTY! But I won't go down without a fight!! *starts chucking things at Duo*  
  
Big Bad Duo: AHH! *ducks* Hey, hey, HEY!! CALM DOWN, YA WITHERED PIECE O' BEEF JERKY!!  
  
Grandma Callie: WHAT?! *wide eyed* YOU DARE CALL ME WITHERED?! I AM BEAUTY ITSELF! I am CALLIE, for crying out loud!! And you don't get any better that Call--  
  
Big Bad Duo: *smashes a frying pan over the ranting woman's head* Sheesh..old geezer.  
  
Grandma Callie: I AM NOT!  
  
Big Bad Duo: *whacks her again; BANG!*  
  
Grandma Callie: *knocks out now*  
  
Big Bad Duo: God, finally. *hears Minako approaching the walk* Ah! No time!! *drags Callie to the closet and shoves her inside, grabbing a few of her bedclothes to dress in; quickly dresses and slides into bed before Minako opens the door*  
  
Minako: *opens the door and steps into the room* Grandma! I'm..so glad you're not throwing things at me!!  
  
Big Bad Duo: Why would I--I mean.. *clears his throat and disguises it to sound like Callie's* Why would I throw things at my favorite granddaughter?  
  
Minako: Because you're a crazy hag. But I love you anyway!  
  
Big Bad Duo: *coughs* Have you brought me some snacks in that basket?  
  
Minako: Oh! Yes I have, Grandma! *steps closer*  
  
Big Bad Duo: Yes, come here dearie, and let me have whatever's in that basket.. *eyes it hungrily*  
  
Minako: Oh Grandma..what long hair you have.  
  
Big Bad Duo: *laughs* All the better to look beautiful with!  
  
Minako: Grandma..that's a creepy laugh.  
  
Big Bad Duo: Is it?  
  
Minako: Grandma, are you feeling okay?  
  
Big Bad Duo: Yes. I mean no. I mean--GAH! JUST GIMME THE BASKET! *springs into action, revealing himself as the Big Bad Duo*  
  
Minako: DUO!? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY GRANDMA?!  
  
Big Bad Duo: The witch is in the closet, now gimme the basket before I molest you!  
  
Grandma Callie: *from closet* I AM NOT A WITCH, YOU NO-GOOD GNOME!  
  
Big Bad Duo: *advances toward Minako* Gimme the basket, blondie..  
  
Minako: *screams*  
  
:: Door bursts open ::  
  
Narrator Kookie-san: *standing behind Sana the Hunter* Look who came! It's the hooker--I mean hunter..: Sana-Banana! Here to save the day!  
  
Sana the Hunter: Unhand her, you fiend!  
  
Big Bad Duo: ...make me.  
  
Sana the Hooker: *flashes him*  
  
Big Bad Duo: AHHH MY EYES! MY VIRGIN EYES!! *passes out*  
  
Sana the Hooker, we mean, Hunter!: Yosh! I am triumphant! *cheesy victory pose*  
  
Minako: ..what is WRONG with these people..  
  
THE END 


End file.
